They hurt when I stand up after sitting down for a while or when I get out of bed. After a minute they stretched out and are like normal feet.

I only realised recently how fucked they are, before that I thought it was something that affected everyone. I think they’ve slowly got worse over the last few years and now they’re to the point where the doorbell goes and I’m struggling to get to the door in time. I think it’s a snowball effect too, like I’ll ask one of the kids to fetch me the remote so I don’t have to get up and have my feet hurt.

I’m guessing it’s a combination of being a fat prick and sitting on my arse all day. I’ve been trying to stretch them out whenever I remember about it, but I think it’s doing more harm than good and should probably be freezing them or heating them instead.