A while back I received a parcel. Inside was a leafblower, a steam cleaner and an extension cord.

I hadn’t ordered any of these things, but the box was addressed to me. So I assumed someone on the internet sent them me as a joke. A leafblower – because there’s a leafblower hidden in GMod. A steam cleaner, because GMod is on Steam. And an extension cord because GMod is an extension of Half-Life 2.

So obviously I set the leafblower up and piss arsed about with it around the house. Then I packed it all away and thought nothing of it.. until a couple of months later when I got a note through the door from a guy down the road. Apparently he’d ordered this stuff and the parcel company didn’t know who it was for, they just had the post code, but they’d delivered something to me before so they’d put my name and address on it.

So I taped the leafblower back up and made it look like I hadn’t been running around the house blowing shit over with it and put it all back in the box. I bullshitted the neighbour, telling him we assumed it was a Christmas present we’d ordered so just put the box away without opening it. This went down well, but I could tell he didn’t believe me. Even as I was speaking I could tell he was imagining me blowing frozen peas around in the bath with his new leaf blower.