I’ve got fatter every year for the past 5 years. I’ve has spurts of trying to lose weight every 6 months or so, and they last about a month and then I’m back on the fat train.

Looking at this graph made me realise what a useless cunt I am. Every dip that goes back up soon afterwards represents a failure. If I’d stuck to it we wouldn’t be having this conversation.

Here’s what I learned from my failures..

1. Stop eating as much
2. Eat whatever you want and do exercise doesn’t work
3. Don’t eat after 7pm
4. Sugar makes you hungry
5. Microwave meals
6. No snacks
7. Enjoy feeling hungry
8. Weigh yourself every day

I understand this all sounds like eating disorder shit, but I think it’s important to understand why you’re fat. I’m fat because given the choice I sit at a desk for 10 hours a day, I eat jacket potato, beans and cheese for lunch, and then eat 6 bags of crisps and a tub of ice-cream in front of the TV at night. It’s about breaking those habits.

I feel like in 100 years people will look back at how much sugar we consume and be shocked and appalled in the same way that we look back at the heroin usage in the 1800s.

You need to keep #8 under control. When you’re weighing yourself every day you need to understand that you’re creating a weekly/monthly average. What you ate yesterday isn’t going to show up on the scales the next day. If you ran around the park yesterday, don’t expect to have lost weight today.

A nice thing the withings app does is show you how much weight you gained in a month/year. I’ve found that this is the best metric when evaluating your weight.

Instead of trying to lose weight every day you’re just making sure you’re not gaining month on month, year on year.