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Apparently when you’re in a real relationship you have to do stuff. Birthdays, weddings, funerals, shopping, holidays. It never ends. I don’t like doing stuff much. I have enough stuff to do. When I’m doing that stuff – I’m not doing my stuff.

If there’s an event coming up that I’m forced to attend it ruins my life up until the time that the event is over. It’s always in the back of my mind. I can’t start doing anything because I won’t have time because I’ve got to get ready for the event. My concentration always drifts back to the event.

More often than not I do actually enjoy the event when I’m there with a bottle of Smirnoff in my hand. But most of the time I feel like I just can’t be bothered – and would rather be at home with a cup of tea and my slippers.


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