I tried a few porn games on Steam yesterday.

Dominatrix Simulator

A badly modelled woman authoritatively instructs you to do stuff. You respond with nodding or shaking your head and getting in particular poses.

There’s some animation errors that cause her left eye to jolt to the side every now and then. Once you run through a 5 minute demo with the weird eye woman you’re placed in front of an anime looking character and told to put the pass phrase in from the patreon page. I didn’t want to do that so I didn’t see any more.

I can see how this could be sexy if you were doing it naked and it was done well. As it is the voice acting, the modelling and the graphical performance isn’t up there.

SinVR

They have a bunch of different women modelled and have them playing a shagging pose on a loop. You can choose the different poses and it’ll put you in the right position and you can move around to take a closer look and stuff.

You don’t have any hands in the game. To switch poses you look around for floating buttons and have to aim using your head to select the pose you want. You get to look at one model for free, then the others are £7 DLC each so I didn’t see any of those.

This had a lot of potential, the models and animation are pretty well done but the lack of hands/interaction let it down.

VR Paradise

A strip club. You can jump between seats using the destinations type teleportation. You can pick glasses and bottles up on the tables but you can’t throw them very far.

It took a while but I figured out how to get money out and pointed it at one of the girls. I was asked to pay £20 for lifetime private dances. I didn’t so all I could do was hang around the main club. I put some money in one of the other guy’s mouths.

The strippers attempt to be different from one another by having different coloured hair, different lingerie and unique accents. In reality they’re all the same height, weight, legginess, animations.

I didn’t see much because I didn’t pay anything but the boobies and buttes move when you touch them with your hands. If you’re looking to get horny in a room full of other men but don’t want to run the risk of getting drunk and being scammed out of £100’s in the hope that you’re going to hit a spending limit where they actually have sex with you, this might be right up your street.

Update: I paid the £20. It’s worth it.